Gigli

As Seen On DVD

There has been a lot of bad things said about this film. While not wholly inaccurate, they are being a little harsh. It is not the absolutely awful movie people believe, because it is well made; Martin Brest has been making some good films throughout the years, from Midnight Run (my favourite of his) through Beverley Hills Cop and, at a stretch, Scent of a Woman, so knows how to create a film. However, it is hard to believe that the same man made this film.

Ben Affleck is Gigli, an enforcer for a mob captain in what looks like LA, but it's never specified. He is not good at his job, so his boss gives him the task of kidnapping the slightly autistic brother of a federal prosecutor to stop him in his vendetta against the big boss. To make sure he doesn't mess up, he sends along an independent contractor in the form of Jennifer Lopez, and the sparks are supposed to fly.

This plot, it should be mentioned, is silly and laughable; the idea behind them kidnapping the brother of a federal prosecutor being so stupid that the big boss (in the form of Al Pacino - easy casting, really: "We need someone who instantly says mob captain. Oh, I know, Al Pacino. He'll say yes because I helped him get his Oscar for Scent of a Woman.") points it out as being stupid, which kind of defeats the point. Nevertheless, this is a side issue to the supposed burgeoning relationship between our two leads.

This is where the film doesn't work the most. Not the actors themselves, although Affleck is not suited to playing a big lump with some glimmer of brains or conscience, and J. Lo is nowhere near as irritating as she can be in most of her other films outside of the superlative Out of Sight. It's just that it doesn't work. At all. Brest has thought that taking the underlying concept of the romantic comedy, that the two leads should be completely unsuited to each other to heighten the magic of their ensuing romance, to what he thinks of as the ultimate extreme; they are enforcers in the mob and she is a lesbian. Then, having them in a lamentable thriller plot just makes it worse. Every scene where they are supposed to be falling for each other is just neither romantic nor believable and we are left flat. The infamous "gobble, gobble" scene (where J. Lo requests that Affleck show his competency at cunnilingus) is as cringingly bad as you have heard but, somehow, you don't really realise because it is lumbering down at the bottom with the rest of the film.

The music doesn't seem to match the film, chosen and scored for another film. The whole tone of the film seems to be jarring with the film itself. Even cameos from Christopher Walken and Al Pacino do not help. The only scene where I laughed was where the kidnapped brother, told to stand in the corner of the morgue where they are cutting off a thumb in order to send to the prosecutor to show they mean business, starts to rap (in a white way, enunciating each word) the lyrics to "Baby Got Back", which is quite a cheap laugh, but boy did this film need any sort of laugh.

I should point out that I didn't pay to see this film (I used a free trial of an online DVD rental site) so I didn't waste money watching this car crash of a flick. But, it's sometimes interesting to see a film that is technically well made but is quite awful. It's almost educational. It's not quite Showgirls-bad-so-bad-it's-good, but it tries. Avoid, unless you have a sadistic streak. Or if you like watching Lopez in a very tight gym wear doing yoga, the only other highlight.

Rating: D